Mrs. I Do: Crafting love stories in Mallorca

Why a wedding celebrant?

It all happened quite by accident. Around 12 years ago, a friend of a friend was due to preside over a wedding ceremony when they abruptly fell ill. Our mutual pal threw my name in the hat as a stand-in. Comfortable with public speaking, I accepted the challenge and was immediately smitten. Regrettably, their illness persisted, and I continued as super sub. A few years later, when the time felt right, I launched Ceremonies In Mallorca.

How important is your role?

When I started, the celebrant thing was relatively newfangled on the Mallorca wedding scene and often fell to the bottom of checklists. It’s not perceived to be as critical as flowers, food, fairy lights, but our role is fundamental. Your ceremony - that public declaration of love - is the reason people are generously booking time off work and splashing out on a Mallorca minibreak. We help shift perceptions and bump ourselves up that checklist.

Describe the process of curating the perfect ceremony.

Crucially, you must get to know the couple, dig into what makes them tick, and then knit it all into a story - with a beginning, middle and end. I start with an emailed list of basic questions: how they met, the proposal story, activities they enjoy and what they’ve achieved together as a couple. Then, to get to the nitty gritty, they reveal five things about each other that they love, and five things they don’t. Inevitably, things such as ‘loud snoring’ or ‘the leaving of dirty socks on the floor’ will crop up, but, I gloss over these, as a wedding shouldn’t be a nitpicking opportunity, and instead look for the humour, the anecdotes that the assembled crowd will relate to. The idea is to take the guests on a journey, make them smile a lot, laugh a little, and hopefully shed a tear or two.

What makes a ‘bad’ ceremony?

One that’s too long, or a DIY job. There’s a sweet spot for a ceremony, ten minutes is too short, people haven’t booked a flight for a few brief formalities, while 45 minutes is too long, boredom thresholds are rapidly reached. As for the DIY option, some download a ceremony outline from the internet and then get a mate to play celebrant. On occasion this method works incredibly well but, typically, it’s fraught with pitfalls. To begin, much of the online stock is full of Americanisms which need careful editing to suit British tastes. As for the ‘mate’, they could back out, fall sick, get drunk or become overly emotional – none of which are particularly helpful. Predictably, they’ll know one half of the couple much better than the other and the ceremony could feel a tad lopsided. Finally, many deploy comedy banter that really should be saved for the best man’s speech, not a wholesome family-friendly ceremony.

Even for professionals, it doesn’t always go to plan.
Hiccups happen, but we have the wealth of experience to handle them with grace and try to camouflage any awkwardness.

Give us some examples.

Before every wedding, I routinely ask the best man to physically “show me the rings”. In one case, I’d done exactly that, but the hapless fellow still managed to leave them next to the basin whilst taking a last-minute comfort break. “May I have the rings?” was met with panicked pocket-feeling and a flustered “no”. As he went off to retrieve them, I asked the guitarist to launch into Somewhere Over the Rainbow for a merry audience singalong. Then there was the two-year-old page boy who had both rings tied neatly to his waistcoat. Every time someone tried to grab said rings, he ran off. The more they chased, the more he ran. The best game ever. Some things are harder to control than impish toddlers. A colleague witnessed a groom say “I don’t” instead of the customary “I do”. Turned out the bride had been indulging in extracurricular activities and the groom chose that moment to highlight these. Us celebrants must always have an emergency plan B – or C.

What’s the worst part of your job?

The heat. When Mallorca is going through one of its hideous 40-degree heatwaves, we all feel like wilting. Late brides are also the bane of my life. A fashionable five or ten minutes is fine but, these days, they’re often 30, 45 minutes late and not only does it take its toll on a waiting audience, but also has a knock-on effect for caterers, photographers, musicians... Previously, I’d officiate several weddings a day, but that’s become too risky. Now, I stick to one and hand the rest to my Ceremonies In Mallorca colleagues.

Tell us about your colleagues.

Between the three of us, we’re quite the team. Cheeky Ged – AKA Father Ged – can hold court in English, Spanish or French, and is a shoo-in for a bilingual wedding with partners of differing nationalities. He’s also Catholic, so very comfortable with religious elements. Tracey is a wonderfully empathetic individual and conveys heartfelt emotion with sincerity and depth. Her experience as a Birth Doula no doubt speaks to this nurturing nature. As for me, I probably sit somewhere in the middle. I’ve been described as everyone’s ‘funny mummy’ – and I’ll take it!

Are your ceremonies ‘official’?

Legally binding? No. It is possible to have an official church wedding in Mallorca, so long as one of the couple is Catholic. Certain members of the Town Hall and notaries can also officiate, but one of the couple must be a permanent resident on the Island. A celebrant is the easiest route - far less paperwork. My advice is always to do the ‘legal’ bit in your country of origin with a tiny handful of guests, no fuss, and leave the lavish emotional celebration for Mallorca.

For further information visit: www.ceremoniesinmallorca.com

What’s the future for Mallorca’s ‘Mrs I Do’?

I still get a real kick out of ceremonies, I love them, and routinely cry at the first wedding of the season as it still holds such emotion for me. For as long as I feel like this, I will happily continue.