Specialists in meat (and other Mallorcan advertising)

They could alternatively have been “handmade cocktails”. Strictly speaking, this would have been accurate - assuming that hands were involved and not some machinery that required no greater the use of a hand than the pressing of a button - but handmade would have sounded all wrong. More so than homemade, even though homemade was wholly inaccurate. Or I presume that it was.

We are in the adjectival and sloganising realms of advertising and promotion, for which history and tradition dictate that homemade or handmade are liberally attached to anything that emanates from a Mallorcan kitchen, normally that of a bar or restaurant but potentially also someone’s house (or so it can appear). But this most certainly doesn’t stop with homemade or handmade.

Accordingly, and even in today’s more vegan times that might inspire condemnation, restaurants insist on perpetuating a promotional crime that is pretty much unique to them, which of course cannot be the case as they are not unique on account of there being so many of them. This is the boast that goes along the lines of being “specialists in meat”. The only good thing to say about this is that it does at least achieve some hint of niching the product offer. I mean, you wouldn’t say “specialists in food”. Or maybe you would.

This meat specialism isn’t the only oddity of the “authentic” or “typical” Mallorcan restaurant, both themselves adjectives that represent crimes of overuse. There is the “artisan” typical authenticity as well, which brings us back to handmade. An alternative to this artisan culinary craft is “rustic”. Rustic? What the hell is rustic? Who wants to eat something that sounds as though it is some bits of old wood that have been marinaded in oxidised iron filings for several years.

The promotional lexicon is regularly updated and so now we have, as an example, “zero-kilometre”, whereas in the old days it was “fresh from the market” and which may actually have been the case. But zero-kilometre is of great importance to the contemporary sustainable holidaymaker who wishes to be reassured that there is no carbon footprint and contribution to climate change from the rearing of a local beef herd (and so specialists in meat), save for all the methane produced and for the holidaymakers’ own contributions by having travelled in order to be given this zero-kilometre reassurance.

Sadly, even visionary companies that have gone the zero-kilometre extra kilometre, such as Garden Hotels with their local agreements for lamb and so on, have said that supplying local product can only ever be very limited. There simply isn’t the production. The unattainable thus punctures a quest for sustainability due to the fact that there isn’t sufficient to sustain. But don’t let this hinder sustainable and sustainability as promotional devices for businesses or destinations even if they are both so overworked to have lost any meaning they may once have had.

Which isn’t to say that there aren’t excellent companies doing excellent things in pursuit of sustainability. Iberostar, for instance, have a chief sustainability officer at the top of the group’s management. This is commitment which isn’t for show. They mean it, whereas all too often - one suspects - there are companies which don’t get is as a key ingredient of corporate culture to guide all aspects of decision-making. Leading voices in the hotel industry have in fact been critical of claims of sustainability which are, to be blunt, little more than marketing exercises. And the hotel industry isn’t the only sinner in this regard.

Ultimately, I guess, being meaningful is what it all boils down to, whatever the claim is and however it is presented. It’s what separates the great from the rest. Consider other words that are used willy-nilly without there necessarily being any great substance - quality, team, for instance. What is a team? Well, it isn’t just a group of people, that’s for sure. The making of a great sports team can give clues, e.g. shared goals, clarity of roles, leadership support, and so on. Does any business ever seriously think to promote itself on the basis of a lack of quality?

Without truly meaning it, people can see through it, such as with homemade cocktails which simply cannot be. Or by reaching for the same old formula, the promotion is in a void of lack of differentiation. If one restaurant claims to be specialists in meat, and the one next door also claims to be, then which specialists should customers opt for? Maybe they don’t bother and go home and make it themselves. With their own hands.