From squirrel stowaways to millionaire escapes

The flagrant abuse of transport rules including lack of train ticket, hooligan-like behaviour, and harassment of other passengers, would already have got the pair into hot water but the fact that they refused to leave the train was their undoing. In fairness, one scuttled off at Redhill but the other gleefully evaded captures from increasingly desperate railway staff and so the train had to be cancelled altogether and brought back to Reading where the creature was finally dispelled.

And hot on the heels of the naughty rodent story was the tale about an escaped Capybara in Telford, Shropshire. The largest rodent in the world, Capybara can reach four feet in length but are rather sweet, docile looking creatures. Cheeky escapee, Cinnamon, managed to give zoo keepers the slip and at time of filing this column, was still at large.

Bizarrely, Hoo Zoo which incompetently lost the animal, described her as ‘living her best life’ on the run. Either that’s a biting indictment about her erstwhile life at the zoo or the usual absurd platitude churned out in an effort to give a potentially damaging story a positive, funny spin. I hope poor old Cinnamon enjoys her fleeting taste of freedom and gives the zoo keepers a run for their money.

Oasis ennui

I have absolutely nothing against singer, Taylor Swift. By all accounts, she is a kind and giving individual who funds food banks and does her best to help and support her young impressionable Swiftie fans. However, the media just about drove me nuts over the summer with its obsession with her Eras tour which seemed to go on forever. Every man, woman, dog, cat and gerbil seemed to be desperate for tickets and even strait-laced middle-aged friends in the UK desperately hankered after tickets. I’ve heard some of her songs and they seem fine but frankly, I just don’t get why there has been such a global frenzy.

No sooner has that hysteria faded than band Oasis pops up to take her place. Endless articles have been written about the brothers’ reconciliation, their financial status, the tour, the ‘heartbreak’ for those unable to buy sold out tickets and on and on it goes. Much as I enjoyed deafening concerts by many greats in my university days in Leeds, I never attended any beyond my twenties. I lazily relied on records and CDs, saving money and my ears, but the overriding reason I stopped going was because of the massive queuing and crowds. I actually much prefer to listen to favourite music on my own and love my iPods for that reason. It’s lovely to have music at fiestas and local events because it’s usually fairly gentle and isn’t accompanied by massive crowds. So, there was certainly no FOMO for me with the Eras tour and there certainly won’t be with Oasis. Wonderwall was a great song but I’m more than happy to listen to it whenever I feel like it on Spotify.

Living with Cancer

All of us know someone in the family who is either living with cancer, has recovered from cancer or has sadly died from cancer. It’s so prevalent, that it would be nigh impossible not to know someone suffering from the cruel disease. That is why I felt that Princess Catherine’s video was an appropriate response to her own battle with the illness and her recovery. Of course, anyone who has had cancer will always tell you that they are mindful that it could possibly return and so are never complacent. That underlying thought came across in Kate’s touching and upbeat video in which she and her family enjoyed precious moments together in a natural setting on the Norfolk coast. Being ill is grim for everyone but it must be even worse to be under the public gaze as the Princess of Wales has been.

In several recent articles there has been in-depth analysis and criticism of the sentimentality of the video. I feel it’s hugely unwarranted. The more the royals show that they too are mortal and have frailties just like the rest of us, the more relatable they become. Showing honesty and playing down mystery and intrigue is the only way the monarchy will survive in the current world where every single image, word and action is under the ghastly scrutiny of the Stasi social media.

Gravy train drain

Apparently thousands of British millionaires have either fled or are in the act of fleeing the UK, so afeared are they of upcoming taxes that are likely to be imposed on the wealthy by the new Labour government. Of course, the seriously wealthy will already have boltholes and accounts squirrelled away offshore and shrewd accountants and lawyers will do their utmost to protect their assets. So who then will be picking up the slack when they’ve all left the country for sunny shores such as Spain, Portugal and the likes of Florida or tax havens that include Monaco and UAE?

Well, the answer, I’m afraid, is that the poor middle and working classes will be hoofing the bills and the super-duper rich will get off more or less scot-free. Charlie Mullins, the bleached-cockatoo-haired founder of Pimlico Plumbers has already announced his departure, keen to take his mega bucks elsewhere and inevitably less vociferous millionaires will be following in his footsteps. Of course, there will be those who decide to stay put but probably not without securing fantastic, gold encrusted trusts and hidden nest eggs far away for a rainy day.