The week that was

Chaos and comedy

It feels as though it would be more appropriate were this week’s column to be The Week That Will Be.
 If the past few days have been a confusion of pre-electoral jockeying-for-position, then just wait until after today. What chaos may yet await us, unless Bauzá has his “Cameron moment” and sweeps into re-elected power with the sounds of teachers booing and braying in the background.
As things turned out, the strike arranged for the green tide of educational activists was a bit of a damp squib, albeit that the dampness of a squib has to be measured - as always in Majorcan statistical terms - by a percentage.
The Balearics education ministry stated “definitively” that 23.4% of the islands’ 11,800 teachers went on strike last week, protesting - inevitably - against the Bauzá regime’s educational policies and the introduction of the new national curriculum through LOMCE, the law on the quality of education.
The main thing that the green tide was objecting to, LOMCE-wise, was the test for nine-year-olds. Again, the education ministry was on hand to give some indication as to the “chaos” caused by this test.
6.84% of schools were reported as having “incidents” which prevented the test being taken.
The association of primary school heads said that there was “chaos” on account of conflicting instructions that had emanated from the regional education ministry. It, the ministry, was unable for once to place a percentage on the level of its conflicting instruction.
But what was this test? Well, part of it required a spot of English. So, there was, for example, a multiple choice question. Fill in the missing word. “Where (blank) you going? I’m going to the park.” What an opportunity was missed. When JR and Frankie Armengol went head to head for their debate on local TV, this should have been the question. How good is your trilingualism? José Ramón? “Erm, erm. Where do you going?” Wrong. Frankie?  “I refuse to answer this on the grounds that I believe that TIL has produced chaos in the classrooms of the Balearics - at least 63.7% of them, that is.” (Her percentage of course having been plucked entirely at random.)
JR might have been helped in getting the answer right had the presenter of the debate been one Miguel Angel Ariza, who caused a storm on his radio show for IB3 by announcing that listeners should vote for the PP. It was “unfortunate”, he was to later admit, but insisted that it had been said as part of a “comedy” programme. Vota PP, the party of comedians. Perhaps. Journalist groups were not having his excuse, though. Impartiality, they screamed, those who had not been demonstrating their partiality in the lead-up to the election.
 A problem for Miguel, in trying to defend his humour, was that, as one example, on his blog of 19 December he wrote that “Bauzá is, has been and will be a good president”, going on to praise a reduction in unemployment and greater wealth. Or maybe that had all been in the name of comedy as well.

The unemployed of Calvia

This reduction in unemployment has not helped the PP’s candidate for mayor in Calvia, José Manuel Ruiz. A useful summary of the Calvia candidates revealed that he was the only one among the eight who was unemployed.
Well, sort of. What might be interesting to know is whether he has been declining jobs as part of conditions for receiving dole money.
 Something suited to his background. Like having been the director of IB3 and having been “imputed” over some spat with Canal 4 (a charge which has been archived).
Still, ever since he quit the IB3 gig in order to dedicate himself to helping to arrange pre-election barbecues for the faithful, he has been “en el paro”. The question is, will he still be after today?
This summary was interesting in a variety of ways. José Manuel, we learned, drives a Fiat 500 (oh well, someone has to) and not one but two candidates - Alfredo Rodríguez of PSOE and Victoria Ruiz (no relation, probably, to José Manuel) - have a Citroën Xsara Picasso. Here has to be a new advertising campaign for Citroën.
“The Picasso, the car of choice of the left wing.” Except. How did this summary conclude that the UPyD was left wing? It most certainly isn’t.
Though as the answers were seemingly supplied directly by the candidates, then we will have to assume that Victoria hasn’t realised that her party is not left-wing. No wonder the UPyD hasn’t a hope.
The Calvia man for Podemos (Sí se Puede Calvià, as it has to be referred to) flatly refused to answer any questions, except to give name, rank (job) and age. How much do you earn? Not saying. Do you believe in God?
 Not saying. Where do you live? Not saying. To be fair, it might have been the case that no one had asked him.

An Irish (and German) takeover

While the not-Podemos but under some other name fellow in Calvia was keeping mum, national leader Pablo Iglesias was having his say about transport. He announced that Spain needs more airports. More airports!? Is he mad? Spain has too many as it is; more than even Michael O’Leary can shake a fist at. But even if Podemos has its way or doesn’t, one can be reasonably sure that Ryanair will maintain its leadership of the Spanish airways. It moves more passengers in Spain than any other airline.
My, how national and Majorcan pride is being dented by the incursions of foreign competition. Not that this pride appeared to be evident last week when seemingly the whole of Majorca enjoyed a collective retail orgasm at the openings of the Aldi supermarkets. I mean, nothing against Aldi but it is only a supermarket chain.  
Has no one noticed, however, that the Germans are taking over? They’ll be wanting to buy Majorca next.
 Media Markt, Lidl, now Aldi. Is there no stopping them? Only the Irish, it would seem. God knows what will happen when Primark opens next year. Make a note for the diary. June 2016. The day that Primark comes to town.