500 fans join Real Mallorca's trip to salvation in Pamplona

Last Sunday’s suffocating 2-1 win against Rayo Vallecano has given us Mallorquinistas mixed feelings of excitement and nerves rolled into one, as we clawed our way out of the relegation bottom three level on points with Cadiz but we have the better head to head count. The Andalucians play at relegated Alaves (at the same time as us) a game Cadiz should win – meaning we just have to pick up all three points away from home, something we’ve only done twice all season.

The good news is that the team won’t be alone when they came on to the pitch at the intimidating El Sadar stadium. Mallorca’s owners have made a magnificent gesture covering 75% of the travel price/match ticket, allowing around 500 fans the chance to cheer the team on in their hour of need. Some tickets will go to members of our two biggest “peñas” (supporters clubs) and the rest were drawn out in a raffle on Thursday. The supporters have filled three planes and there were around 2,000 who applied. Unfortunately yours truly won’t be going as flight times are two and three in the morning both ways and that’s way past my jimmy-jam time!

This game is giving me a severe dose of the “heebie jeebies” as Osasuna have had a fantastic end to the season, finishing in ninth place under their schoolteacher coach Jagoba Arrasate. The last seven clashes between Mallorcans and the Navarrese in Pamplona both in the first and second division have produced either a local win or a draw.

In September 2014 I went to El Sadar with a group of friends. After five games in La Segunda, Mallorca were lying at the foot of the table but we were 1-3 up in the 57th minute. Then the wheels came off and in less than half an hour Osasuna scored five goals that saw us humiliated 6-3.

This will be the first time our ex player, the Croatian striker Ante Budimir (now at Osasuna) will play against us after his traumatic departure from these island shores two years ago. Budimir is without doubt the biggest threat to our chances of staying up as he’s the leading scorer for Osasuna with eight goals. Mallorca fans loved Budimir in his early days then he became the most hated as he went on strike to force a move, refusing to return to the second division. He was part of an impressive attacking trident with Take Kubo and Cucho Hernandez. Budimir went on loan to Osasuna who gave us a complete donkey called Marc Cardona in exchange. Rumour has it that allegedly they haven’t paid all the money (8 million euros) for the Budimir transfer.

With the La Liga title and almost all the European places settled, all attention is focused on the fight for survival between us, Granada and Cadiz. Over the years relegation battles in Spanish football bring up all sorts of suspicious match fixing allegations, most of which are without foundation.

However, Sunday’s game has got a few people’s imaginations going into overdrive. According to these fantasists, our coach Javier Aguirre is likely to get a hero’s welcome from local fans because he played for Osasuna in the 86/87 season. He then went on to coach them for four years 2002/06, taking them to a cup final, 4th place in La Liga and participation in European football. For these feats he was nicknamed “El Vasco” and is a legend in Navarrese footballing history.

The other story doing the rounds is, if Osasuna still owe us money for the Budimir transfer, hows about if some of the payment is waived in lieu of points (letting us win !!!).

After the game against Rayo Vallecano and the emotion caused by Abdon’s goal, Mallorca fans can’t wait for this game, something that seemed unthinkable two weeks ago when Granada thrashed us 2-6 in the Son Moix.

AND FINALLY, a married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the baby's father, without the need for any physical connection.

He asked if they were interested. Both said they were very much in favour of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.

The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer. The husband was still feeling find. The doctor then checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50 percent. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain and the husband experienced none. She and her husband were ecstatic. Then when they got home they found the postman dead on the porch.