The Mallorca coach, Jagoba Arrasate, during the Spanish Super Cup. | Alberto Estevez

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After a week when a movie called The Brutalist is expected to be one of the front runners for this year’s Oscars, it has a running time of 215 minutes (3 hours 35 minutes) – Alfred Hitchcock once said “The length of a movie should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder!” – Real Mallorca came close on Monday night to equalling an unenviable record when they lost 4-0 at Villareal in which the latter scored four goals in 7 minutes/26 seconds of shame for Mallorca in the first half. Not since Valencia scored four goals against Malaga in 5 minutes/55 seconds in 2013 has any team come even close to that record.

Watching the game in a busy Mallorca Sports Bar in the Son Moix, you could have heard a pin drop when Villareal scored their third and fourth goals with ease in the 26th and 28th minute. Most of the die-hard Mallorquinistas had seen enough halfway through the second period, with little prospect of any goals from the islanders, and departed the scene.

There’s no doubt that 2025 has started very badly for “Los Bermellones” as we have been ripped apart by Pontevedra, Real Madrid and now Villareal. Social media outlets didn’t hold back with their criticism of how pathetic Mallorca have been. Words like “shame,” “embarrassment,” “debacle” and “aberration” were just some of the adjectives used.

We went into Monday night’s game knowing that other teams round about us were also looking for a place in European competitions next season. So what’s gone so wrong so quickly? On Monday night our normally rock solid defence crumbled under the attacking football played by the “Yellow Submarine.” Our wing backs Maffeo and Mojica were caught time and time again at the wrong end of the pitch, allowing gaping holes to appear and making it easy for Villareal to score. Coach Arrasate selected Muriqi and Larin up front but didn’t select a recognised winger so the two strikers didn’t get a kick, although a header from Muriqi went wide – something he would have buried last season. Even the normally reliable Dominik Greif was badly at fault for the opener.

Another distraction has been the lack of competitive La Liga football with the team not playing a Primera game since we beat Getafe just before Christmas. Arrasate admitted that we were poor on Monday night and even the changes he made in the second half didn’t make any difference. He knows the team has fallen short and he must reset the mindset in the dressing room. He’s already getting plenty of criticism although some of his players haven’t turned up and put in a decent shift in the last four games. When the season started, the coach was renowned (at Osasuna) for playing proper wingers and in Navarro, Asano and Chiquinho we thought we had some to provide the ammunition for our strikers. Neither Asano nor Chiquinho have had much game time although I expect at least one of them to start against Real Betis tomorrow (Saturday 25th) at 2pm.

Martin Valjent to start against Betis
Martin Valjent to start against Betis

It’s vital that Mallorca get back to winning ways tomorrow and put a smile back on the faces of the fans. Betis are not the team they were last campaign when they beat us 0-1 in June but in Isco they have a match-winner who is still one of the best dribblers of a football in the Spanish game. They will be a test of what we can expect from the second half of the season. Teams like Espanyol, Valladolid, Alaves, Leganes, Getafe and Las Palmas will come to the island fighting for their La Liga lives, so good home performances are vital.

Tomorrow’s game isn’t made any easier with coach Arrasate suspended and forced to sit in the stand. Martin Valjent could face a late fitness test after leaving the pitch at Villareal suffering from a head injury which should have seen the instigator, Alex Baena, red carded. Valjent spent the night in hospital in Castellon under observation and returned to Palma on Tuesday afternoon.

AND FINALLY, two 90-year-old codgers Bob and Jim have been friends all their lives. Sadly Bob is on the point of shuffling off this mortal coil, so Jim visits him every day. Jim tells Bob “We’ve both loved football all our lives, playing and watching the game. Please do me a favour when you get to heaven, somehow let me know if there’s football there.” Bob promises to do just that. Shortly afterwards Bob passes on. At midnight a couple of days later there’s an almighty clap of thunder and a voice bellows out “Jim, it’s Bob from heaven here. I’ve got good news and bad news for you.” “Tell me the good news first,” says Jim. “The good news is that there is football in heaven and all our friends who died before us are here, even Denis Law has just arrived. Better than that, we’re all young again and, best of all, we can play football for ever and never get tired or injured.” “Wow,” replies Jim, “that’s brilliant. So what’s the bad news?” Bob tells him “You’re in the team for Saturday!”