Stuck in here with you - and you, and...

It’s just like Brexit really!

Now to a particularly tricky subject - as in... Are you getting on each other’s nerves as you try to sit-out Covid-19? If you live with another in a one bedroom apartment, I feel your pain. Because, even in a sprawling mansion, the chances are that at some time you will get on each other’s nerves during this lockdown. Here in the UK, the terms of our lockdown are not as draconian as those in Majorca, but even so - in our modest townhouse, as we go into the 2nd week of limited movement (or is it 3rd week?) for sanity's sake we ‘pre-book' the rooms we will be occupying, so as to alleviate the possibility of constantly getting on each other’s wick. 'Where are you going this afternoon?" she will enquire - 'I thought I'd shout at the television in the kitchen/diner this afternoon if you don't mind my love" - was my reply, and so violence and ill temper was thus avoided. I also believe that, couples in particular, must be careful when engaging in conversation whilst in lockdown. For me, it would be a bit like endlessly discussing Brexit - just don't. Moreover, it's probably not a good idea to ask - 'Who do you think would be really great to be married to in a crisis?" Nor is it essential that you ask your partner when he (yes he!) has an innocent glass of wine in his hand - 'It's a bit early to start boozing isn't it?"

A Dressing Down?

For my female readers, you might ask yourself why your male other-half always wants to know where you are and what you are doing at any given time. You might also ask him not to sit down heavily on the sofa and grunt when he is seeking attention - this usually happens when you are in the middle of a 37 minute WhatsApp phone conversation with a friend and he resents you being interested in anyone else but him. True I'm afraid. However, to be fair about all this, you could stop monitoring his consumption of crisps/food in general and the aforementioned booze intake - we all know that we will emerge from this crisis carrying more than a little ‘extra timber' so let's not exaggerate and make all sorts of unpleasant ‘sizeist' statements shall we? However, I believe there to be only one rule whilst in lockdown, and it should be embodied in law. Anyone caught in pyjamas, nightgowns, or a nasty dressing gown after 10.00hrs should be arrested and then quite possibly shot for unlawfully undermining the morale of society during these difficult times.

The designated shopper

As I am the designated shopper in our household, it is my responsibility to - er, shop for our household on certain days. A comprehensive list of food and drink items is provided for me by other internees and off I go every day or so to see what I can get. Mostly, I do okay, but it is annoying sometimes when I am upbraided for failing to source a certain type of pasta, or break down under questioning about my 'strange choice" of flavoured yoghurt and propensity to come back home with lots of things you last ate at school in the 60's - such as a box of Turkish Delight - which, funnily enough, I was b******* for buying, but have never seen again! This is how I discovered that the women of the household have a ‘secret stash' somewhere hidden away from me, as apparently - 'You will only eat it" which if you think about it, is rather obtuse to say the least. I have to admit to one side-effect of this pandemic that I rather approve of- is the fact that people are actually talking to each other on the phone. I know Big Deal! - but, in the recent past we seem to have been slowly drawn into ‘messaging' family and friends rather than talking-to-them voice-to-voice as it were. Not anymore though - I phone our kids and others on an every other day basis, to share...nothing really I suppose - but I enjoy it anyway.