Looking for Mr or Mrs perfect - why not go online?

As you can gather, I am feeling rather awkward writing this column because as someone who is in a long term partnership, I had no idea of the lengths that some of my friends go to in search of…er, er, Mr - Mrs - or Ms potential partner. First of all, so as to prove my complete innocence in this matter, I had no idea just how many dating sites, of every kind - there were in existence online. Nor, it has to be said - did I realise that so many of my acquaintances were actively seeking a relationship with, as yet, an unknown person. So as to limit all the age and gender possibilities I’d like to stick to some of my male mates who are either divorced, or more likely widowed.

Indeed, after a vigorous game of tennis doubles, I have three pals who insist upon telling all who will listen, about their latest romantic interlude, or more likely the buttock clenching embarrassment that their latest foray into the realms of romance has caused. As yet, I have not met a woman who is on a dating site, but all the blokes I know talk of little else. Without even asking - I am confronted by the dating site photo of Bill (not his real name) that must have been taken around circa 1990 when he still had hair and something that resembled a waistline. What does your date say when she is confronted by a fat, bald bloke, with halitosis sat in a coffee bar? “They don’t say anything… ‘cos they are as bad as us men, but wearing way-too-much make-up and talking too much.”

With this, Bill confesses that he averages three or four online driven dates per week and to be quite honest with you, it struck me that this was a ‘hobby’ as much as a person seeking a meaningful relationship. He also told me that all his male and female friends on these sites have a strict adherence to certain social protocols.

In essence, this means that anything from having a dog, smoking or having an unsuitable accent can have the most erudite and handsome of your older man tossed aside like an ugly dullard. However, sometimes I find myself excusing myself from a group of my fifty something (yes okay!) mates when they gather together to compare notes regarding their last disastrous attempt at impressing some poor woman. Mind you dear reader, this does not mean that the mature single female of the species is perfect in this regard.

Julie tells me that she is privy to similar discussions with some of her pals - and I can tell you now that women are much more ruthless than men in this online dating scenario. It seems that before meeting up with their intended beau at the given time, a woman will often hide behind a bus shelter so as to make sure that her ‘date’ matches the suave profile he has given himself, rather than the cruel reality of flat-feet and dandruff. Mind you, if you think about it - my single pals of both sexes are doing the sort of thing in there advancing years that they did when dating as a teenager. Funny that!